A Knock From the Past With Wishes For The Future

Happy Anniversary To Me – 1 Year in Copenhagen

letters_to_antoinette_trench17 April 2015 – I’d always remember that date.
Both the first day of a fresh beginning and the last I spent with a true friend.
It was a day of utter excitement and anxious unawareness.
A day of hope and anticipation, a day when the sky was letting its tears blend with mine with me waving to Mina as she was driving away from the airport. Who knew that this would be the last time I’d look her into the eyes and hear the hyped-up encouraging words ‘Go conquer the word!’
I left Bulgaria with no expectations, just hope that my decision would bring me that ‘ultimate’ happiness I was so desperately trying to find. My hope wasn’t convincing enough and the rising levels of anxiety were making my stomach upset.
‘Why leave?’ my inner voice inquired.letters_to_antoinette_anniversary  ASOS maternity leggings (here) // Misguided Trench Coat (here) // New Look Shirt (here)// LeoWulff Viper Petrol Gold Bag (here) //ALDO Kerrobert Black Leather & Neoprene Flat Shoes (here)

‘To pursue happiness’ a sentence I was silently repeating ever since.
But the piling up fear and doubt had already begun building a solid wall between my future and I. Everything around started falling apart and my plans no longer seemed adequate enough.
It all became a vicious circle of me trying to act strong and epically failing; of me allowing myself to get totally defeated by my mind.
A cynical creature replaced the hopeless optimist in me, doing its best to convince me what a huge mistake the move to Copenhagen had been.
Months flew by unnoticed and with that my belief that I was the only one who had the power to change my life.
It seemed impossible back than to snap out of the depressive mood and make myself see that a brighter future was lying ahead.

letters_to_antoinette121A year has passed and let me tell you – things have immeasurably changed. Cliché or not – it’s really up to you to decide down which road you’re gonna  go.
Impulsivity has always been my driving force and all I had to do was let it start the engine of my life again.
The decisions that I took in a blink of an eye were controversial for everyone around – but, gosh, they felt so exciting and right.
And here I am – a year later slowly now confidently walking down the right path.
Happiness is also a struggle. It asks for patience, dedication and most importantly faith. Faith in the sense that it’s not the obstacles, but whether you’d let them break you that ultimately counts.
Just keep moving, chin up and looking ahead. And most importantly smile at everything that comes your way. It might be a lesson, or just a little twist of the events that might change everything that lies ahead.
1 year living in Copenhagen. A year of sour tears and overwhelming joy.
A year of loss and gain.
A year of ends and new beginnings.
What’s next?
Xoxo
A.

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A Knock From the Past With Wishes For The Future