Bigger Than Life.

I’ve come to a striking realisation that I somewhat struggle to accept. A little seed that got planted in my head and is now impossible to eliminate. It was when P and I got sick. Both of us constantly sneezing, feeling all dizzy and down. I would never even consider to spend a day in the bed and give myself without a fight to the flu. I’d simply keep going with a ginger tea in hand until I feel myself again. But now? Well, now I play another game. Sick, with my period back though Sofia still on my breast, I’m genuinely struggling to squeeze enough positivity out of myself. And the physical discomfort added to the big decision P and...
   

Happy 6 Months, Sofia-Malou!

Sofia-Malou is exactly 6 months today! Which makes me a not-so newbie mommy – only if I felt that way! I still have no clue what I’m doing. I’m struggling day-in day-out to create a routine for her that works. My excuse is breastfeeding – legitimate or not. She has begun sleeping next to me and cuddling, a thing that I was firmly against…The same with eating – I started with the solids a month ago, even though I originally wanted to wait until today to offer her the first spoon with veggies. Our nurse advised me to give it a try earlier and see what happens. Guess what – she had no problem swallowing the food and was getting ecstatic every...

Starting Over – But Coffee First.

With a cup of coffee in hand I spent a couple of hours wondering around the streets as Philip had to deal with the agency photographer who took the photos of our flat. Photos? Yep, we’ve put our flat for sale! That’s the first time in my adult life that I feel a little bit nostalgic towards a ‘thing’ and get a fluttering feeling in the stomach from the thought of handing the keys to another family. I guess because that’s the flat that became our home, the first home  Sofia entered and lived during the first six months of her life. We’ve actually decided to sell pretty much everything…and start over! Of course with the exception of a few unique home...
   

Taking a step to the side.

 It’s been a rough month and just a week ago I couldn’t even imagine how it was all gonna fall into place. But that’s the thing – when there is a cloud over your head you kinda forget that all you need to do is take a step to the side and let the sunshine spread its rays once again over your life. Remind yourself that other directions exist and then be bold enough to pick a bumpy road to a hopefully a ‘brighter’ ahead.   It’s all about making the choice to liberate yourself from what everyone expects and say ‘HELL YES’ to what the heart narrates. But for now I’m going for a stroll down Nørrebrogade just to look back and reflect on a journey that’s changed my...

The Perks of Self-Acceptance.

I need change. I might get a haircut. Or should I just go for a complete makeover and cut it all off? Britney style? What am I talking about? I’d look like an idiot! And what about my friends? They’d think I’d lost my mind. What then…what then… Maybe I should pursue a career that doesn’t involve much writing? Because writing apparently doesn’t count as a job. Otherwise, why would everyone keep asking me what my real job is, you know, apart from writing? What what what? Maybe I should become a teacher. Then I’d use a red pen to correct my students’ essays. Would that count as not much writing? Change of scenery? Yes! That sounds like a plan! Travel somewhere, or...

The Lesson Those 5 Months Taught Me

It’s been exactly 5 months since I became the mother of the most lovable little one – Sofia-Malou. It’s been a wild rollercoaster and it seems to me that I won’t be off it anytime soon.  5 months ago I was telling myself that the first 5 months would be the hardest and then all of a sudden my life would go back to normal. Meaning – I’d be able to leave the flat by myself with Sofia being looked after by Philip or someone else. I actually bought us tickets to the Weeknd’s concert (Monday 20th, February) because I assumed that by that point we’ll be able to leave her with her grandparents. Well, it’s not gonna happen. And while...
   

My To-Go-Snack – Healthy Muffins with Apple and Walnuts

Recently I’ve been living literally on muffins. Yes, but not the overly greasy and sugary ones, but their healthier home-made alternative (I’m talking both savoury and sweet muffins). They’ve become my to-go snack when I have no time to prepare proper lunch or simply when I don’t feel like wasting time in the kitchen during the day, when I can go out with Sofia or just read a book instead. Quite frankly, it all started out of curiosity whether I would be able to bake something eatable. Turns out – I’m pretty good at it. hehe. Also, despite my tiredness, I’d much rather spend an hour baking (in silence) after everyone has already fallen asleep, so that I can be all by...

3 Things I See Differently Since I Became A Mother

My experience as a newbie mommy has changed me a lot – not only in the way I do things, but also in the way I think of and understand life and all that’s happening around me. I catch myself reacting in ways that used to be far from typical for me and for the first time I managed to set my priorities straight. So let’s talk three things that my experience as a newbie mom has changed for me. The Way I Choose To Spend My Time If you know me, you’re probably aware that I’m a social butterfly. Being surrounded by people, constantly communicating be it face-to-face or over the phone charges me with so much energy, I end...

Why I Began Vlogging Again

Even though my blog has taken a huge part of my life since I launched it, recently I’ve been feeling less and less content with it. I couldn’t get my head around why I felt this way until I recorded a short video for Sofia and had a look at it. It suddenly hit me – I wanted to be able to talk to you not only in written form, but orally. I wanted to get closer to all of you by giving you a sneak peak behind the curtain. And just like that I began vlogging and capturing on camera all that I’ve been writing for here on ‘Letters to Antoinette’. In today’s vlog (here) I’m going shopping with my...
   

Situation ‘I Look Like A Hamster’

Two days ago and very unexpectedly I rebooked my flight to Bulgaria. I got a horrible toothache and there was no way I could be able to look after Sofia-Malou 24/7 and deal with the pain. And the worst of all was that I couldn’t take any pain killers – I’m allergic to most plus breastfeeding. Sofia and I made it back and went straight to the dentist the moment we landed. I feel better now and the whole winter wonderland situation is without any doubt a mood booster. The only thing that’s missing is Philip, but he couldn’t join us as now is the busiest time for him work-wise. Oh and good news – I finally went back to vlogging again! I’ve...

A Quick Recap.

Happy New Year! Did you smile a lot during the holidays? I hope you did! My December?  A bit challenging. A year ago I received the most chilling phone call from a childhood friend to let me know that my best friend has committed suicide (more here). A year has passed by and I still live in denial. I thought that once I begin writing about her I would be able to come to terms with reality and move on. Yet, I often find myself staring at the phone, hoping that she would give me a call to make a sarcastic remark about that sick joke someone made that she is gone. For a year I’ve been postponing seeing our mutual...

Gift-Wrapping and…Some Cheeky Unwrapping

Denmark is changing me…like really! I’ve never in my life imagined myself wrapping presents…I used to let other people do it for me or just opted for the American way using Christmas bags instead. But the whole Danish Christmas  ‘hygge’ took Christmas to an entirely different level for me. And gift wrapping is a big part of it. So here I am being very Danish cutting paper, choosing props and bows to place on the presents with a cup of chai in hand. To make it all even more cosy.. of course I added some fairy lights.My parents are also arriving tomorrow to celebrate Christmas here. In fact, it’s my first Christmas in Denmark too so I’m crazily excited to taste...