Retro-spect… But Looking Ahead.
A few weeks ago I hinted that Philip and I were starting over. And no, we’re not starting over separately…We keep moving forward in life hand in hand, but on a new path for a change.
After two years spent in Denmark I’m packing my suitcases again. This time with a baby and a husband right next. Our apartment is put for sale and in less than two months we’ll be moving to Bulgaria for a while. A while because we haven’t made up our minds whether we’d be settling down there or use it as the first stop of a wild journey to a place we haven’t even visited yet.
A month ago Philip was at the same place that I found myself a few years back right before I launched my blog. He was living day by day, not seeing the bigger picture, or whether his plans were in tune with his inner voice. It’s often one moment, a moment of catharsis that shakes your world to its core to make you discern your truth – the one that was always there, but muted by all the ‘shoulds’ you kept telling yourself.
‘I should be successful! I should prove that I can do it! I should keep going because that’s THE plan!’
Been there done that.
It took us one evening to reach the decision to sell everything we own and leave.
We both felt so crazily relieved.
We would finally get the chance to spend quality time together and do exactly what we want – travel, work on our own project, find new hobbies. Dance. Whatever.
Me? I had almost accepted the fact that Philip would always have the same demanding job until forever, as him and his father was working side by side. I knew that potentially there were other options, but it wasn’t my place to give ‘ideas’ with Philip so determined to continue what his dad started 40 years ago. I had attempted to open a conversation about his ‘true dreams’ but he would always put the full stop before I’ve even reached the question mark.
Today, for the first time since we met I can feel that we are looking outward in the same direction. Travelling charges me with energy so powerful and electrifying – it makes me feel alive!
I got used to repressing my hunger to explore and live on-the-go, because…I was pregnant. I had to settle down.. That’s what people do when they start a family.. Right?
Was my sacrifice giving me joy? Not at all.
But life is all about choices, and I made the choice to stay with Philip and build a life with him. Today, the sacrifice has melted away and thankfully, he shouldn’t do anything to please my desires… because all of the sudden we crave the same!
Sofia contributed to that alignment.
If it wasn’t for her I’d have had much more time to think about what I lacked. She delayed MY moment of realisation and I would be forever grateful for that.
Because today Philip and I are still together, stronger than ever and walking ahead with synchronised steps.
Have you also had to take a big life-chanching decision recently? How does it feel?
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