A Lesson from New York City and Back to the Basics OOTD

#LifeAsACanvas: Can the Surreal be the Real Deal?


#LifeAsACanvas: Can the Surreal be the Real Deal?

She?d just opened up her sleepy eyes and she was already staring at the screen. ‘1 New Message? indicated a little box on the right. With a trembling hand and a pounding heart she clicked the ?read?. She quickly went through the text which gently touched her soul and made her body shiver.

She couldn?t believe how close they?ve gotten for less than a week. She couldn?t believe that someone could accept her with all her flaws and messed up past. She simply couldn?t grasp that a certain one, miles away, could so quickly steal her heart away.

The petite online space they shared turned into their safest outlet. A space splashed with feelings ? intimate and deep, emotions ? vibrant and unique.

And just like that
I cannot help but wonder ? could one simple online fling turn into the ?real
On a couple of occasions I?ve been asked to share my opinion on relationships that develop out of online conversations.

Let me tell you something, in a world defined by high social expectations, gender roles and stereotypes, establishing a genuine relationship is quite a challenge. Prior to your first date you pamper yourself, putting on a social mask all ready to impress the other. And while illuminating a polished version of yourself, you somehow easily forget to let the ?real you? come through too. But by the time you actually have the guts to act it might end up being late enough.

On the other hand?talking about your online crush…

mickey_mouseThe screen that stands between you and your online fling looks like bridge. Visualise it with you two standing at its ends. You message each other while taking tiny steps aiming to meet up somewhere in the middle. You know (okay, you hope) you?d eventually cross each other’s path and right until then you’ll keep on pressing ?send?. Though at first you might be holding back in no time the real you will shine through. Yes, it?s easier to share your story to a lap top screen; to strip away the masks and reveal the ‘real you’; to exploit the lyrics of a song while using rhythmical poetic language to 
spill out your soul.
And just like that in the blink of an eye, all transparent barriers collapse and with that your connection deepens. To make your late night talks more honest, genuine, and real. 
And you know? You’ll often get the feeling as if they are just right near? 
With petite butterflies chasing each other somewhere down your belly. 
But sadly you can get easily addicted to inhibiting the ‘Neverland? where the two of you is all that matters. The place where the conversations are intimate and deep and where your daily surroundings always melt away and disappear. 
And that?s the tricky part.
Despite the excitement you might feel from the thought of arranging an actual date, a feeling of doubt might also arise.
When you fall in love online you fall for the soul of the other, for their ability to share themselves through a written word. And while you might be aware of how they look, you?d probably be quite oblivious regarding their facial expressions, voice and mannerisms. You?re unaware whether the sparkle in their eyes will be able to set your soul on fire; whether their cheerful giggle could actually make your whole self quiver. 

Yes, when you first meet up you?ll be finally able to hear the sound of their voice and look into their eyes. But would they be enticing enough?

The first date is the test you both should pass. The very moment when their voice, story, and corps will blend before your eyes and turn into a breathing human-being.
And believe it or not when you first lay eyes on each other you?ll most probably freeze in place. The words that will come out of your mouth will not longer sound eloquent enough…
‘Is that real or surreal’ will whisper the voice in your head…
The first thing you’d probably want is to run back home and revert to your chatting routine. And having been through that myself I suggest that you resist the temptation. What you need is find out whether the online persona you fell for is worth falling for offline too. You need to establish a perception of the other one based on the experiences and memories you create when you’re physically together; when the two of you stand right there in the middle of the bridge, staring at each other’s eyes. 
When you can touch them, kiss them, and finally acknowledge that rather than surreal they are actually real. 
I did experience that a few weeks back (and just a little disclaimer… this post doesn’t intend to touch upon the ‘Catfish Cases’ but rather upon situations in which people who are certain of each other’s existence) and bluntly, the nerve-wrecking feeling that I got prior to our first date made it too difficult for me to actually breathe. I was too scared that I won’t be able to meet the terribly high expectations we both had previously set. But sometimes all you need is switch off your brain and just go with the flow. 
Today looking back I realise that the offline persona I met two weeks ago is much more attractive and luring than the one I got to know online. 
Was the whole online thing worth it?
Hell yeah!
If we had met offline before we’d gotten the chance to speak a lot about love & life, we wouldn’t have given each other a chance. We would’ve both deemed the other worthless based on the circle of friend we hung out with, places we went to, and fashion style we got. 
It was our online confessions which made us grow closer together.
It was the songs we exchanged which made us click (among which See Right Through – quite in line with the topic today).
It was the jokes we made that incited us to tick the last boxes of our ‘checklists’.
And though we’ve known each other from before, it was social media that enabled us to truly meet. Bond. And ultimately Click. 
So if you fall for someone online, be bold! Don’t waste any time in doubts… Go out there and meet them. 
Kiss them.

Feel them. 
Give them a chance to fall in love with their offline self too. 
And then decide whether you’ll stick with them or simply move on.
Is it easy to take it all offline?
Hell no!
Even today when we see each other it takes us a few minutes to adjust. To remind ourselves that we are actually real – that the surreal has been slowly turning into the real deal.  
But at the end of the day life and love should be enjoyed both emotionally and sensually. 
Don’t restrain yourself from doing so by holding on to the online experiences, which though mystical and enthralling, are also quite restrictive. 
Love comes when you least expect it – be it online or offline… and you? You make sure to keep your eyes open enough to perceive it and arms – wide spread all ready to fully embrace it. 

No comments yet

Be the first one to comment :)


Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret. Krævede felter er markeret med *


Next post

A Lesson from New York City and Back to the Basics OOTD