A Few Things to Do Before It Gets Too Late: Part 1: Discover your Beauty and Smile at the Bullies
Hey you lovely reader,
How have you been lately? Have you had some spare time to look yourself in the mirror and utter ?Today will be a lovely day?? Have you had the chance to smile and proudly declare ?I?m a beautiful person??
Well, I think I know the answer?
A few weeks ago I was lying on the beach in the Dominican Republic, having an ice-cold mojito aimed to cool my body down. I was laughing out loudly at a joke B.?s just made and almost failed to notice the beeping sound from my bag. Still giggling I took out my phone and automatically clicked on the notification ?New mail? that had just appeared on the screen. Though B. was still finishing his story, my mind had already drifted away. My eyes were sliding down the words with my smile slowly dropping off my face. The mojito?s ice had melted, however, all I could sense was chills quickly creeping up my spine. I was scrolling down the letter I?d received with my hand uncontrollably trembling in between. B?s words had slowly faded away with me completely immersed in HER world. B.?s attempt to start a conversation miserably failed. My lips have somehow stitched themselves together now horridly curved in a downward direction with the sound of the ocean now replaced by a high-pitched buzz in my ears. The only thing I desired was to be left alone to assimilate a story – painful yet real, ugly yet profound.
She was young, innocent and pure. And her friends – brutal, cynical, and foul. She gave them her heart to only realise that they?d been stabbing her in the back with a forced laugh.
Yes, she offered them her smile to only get in return their childish cold-hearted wrath.
Years of bulling went by. Years of sadness, tears, and self-doubt. Years of solitude, worthlessness, and a pinch of hope.
Hope that one day she could be better off.
But nothing seemed to change, the problems simply grew.
The bullies sucked out her soul and she found it hard to ever move on.
It took me ages to write down the reply giving myself enough time to get my head around her story.
Probably you?ve been bullied by a family member or your partner?
Or hopefully you are lucky enough to be completely unaware of what that thing (bullying) is really all about.
With every day passing I feel that time is speeding up its course.
And I?m scared. Yes, I?m terrified that the next time I have the guts to examine the calendar it will be 2020, then 2027, and then 2063 to end up being old enough to nostalgically recall the past and think of all the things I could’ve done.
About all the moments I have missed being way too cautious about what the others may dare to think.
About all the times I?ve allowed to be mocked.
About all the seconds I have wasted feeling inferior and wretched.
Yes, bullying comes in many forms. And you, lovely reader, I bet you?ve also come across its ugly face before.
So you, who have been bullied or harassed, force yourself to open up your tired eyes. It’s time for you to voice your story. It’s time for you to look around. Take a piece of paper and write it all down. Fold the paper and throw it from the riverbank. Let go of the past and embrace the future.
And the day you have the guts to stand up and smile, to smile and forgive, to forgive and move on ? this will be the happiest day of your life. The day that you?ll let go of the haunting past, for the first time tasting the freedom from despair, sadness, and damaging thoughts, I promise you to be the happiest day of your life.
The past has made you who you are. Stronger. Bolder. And most importantly eager to head towards the brighter future that awaits.
And you, the bullies, who spend your days laughing at those who perform better than you, pointing your finger at the quiet ones who prefer to think before they speak;
Precisely you, who make the ones different from you feel as worthless outsiders by ensuring that no-one makes it to their birthday party.
Yes you, who entertain yourself by calling other names, planning sick and nasty tricks, please, proceed to the nearest mirror and tell me what you see?
While you?re too busy feeding yourself with the positivity of others you fail to notice that your ?beauty? is simply fading away. In school it is easy to be the Queen of the Schemes and the King of the Tricks. But life has its ways to pull you down from the throne and return to the bullied ones their souls.
It has its ways to bring back the spark in their eyes. To reassure them that being happy is still a legitimate option.
Yes, life has its own weird ways. So don?t worry about them. Please, DO NOT worry about the ones you?ve harassed.
They will find the ONE.
They eventually will establish true friendships.
But, please, be my guest, and start worrying about YOURSELF.
The ?nerdy? girl will move on while leaving your image rot away in the past.
She will be fearlessly smiling every time the unpleasant memory of you floods back her mind.
He? Yes, the boy with the braces? Remember him? He will be okay too. He is on his way to become a successful TV presenter who flashes his white teeth from the screen. And you? You will be resentfully munching on your Tesco crackers, puzzled why you didn?t make it to the top.
Yes, all of you, daring bullies, young and old, girls and boys, CONGRATULATIONS!
You did trigger litres of tears and immense amounts of pain.
Are you proud with what you?ve achieved?
Time flies by. Fast. And rather than paying attention to those who attempt to torment you – smile and move on.
Recently I spoke about why wasting your time is not a legitimate option (here) and today I?d like to remind you that life is in your hands and that there is indeed a way out of despair. Is it easy? Will it ever be? Of course not. It requires strength and patience. It requires time. And it requires you to learn to LOVE YOURSELF again.
Before it gets ‘too late’ discover your ?beauty?. Declare it. Let it shine through and let yourself thrive. You are indeed a beautiful creature ? unique, colourful, and vibrant. Remember that and dazzle those around.
Start loving yourself and remember that no-one is entitled to tell you what you can and cannot achieve. You?re the master of your destiny and only when you fully acknowledge that you?ll become the person you?ve always wanted to be.
Surrounded by positivity, by good people, and most importantly embraced by love.
And now answer this question. Do you really crave to be a part of the ‘clique’ you?ve been so desperately trying to please? Do you really want to ‘fit in? when you have the option to actually ‘stand out’?
Let the ?cool? ones encircle themselves with imaginary walls. Let them linger there and miss out on life. Cos while spending their time to harass you they are failing to see how wonderful life could actually be.
Be smarter. Bolder. And confident.
Look yourself in the mirror and smile. See? It’s not that hard.
Tomorrow smile again.
And finally let yourself declare ‘I’m indeed a beautiful person’ while cheekily smiling at the bullies.
P.P.S Ten days are left until the end of LTA’s 500 Followers Jo Malone Giveaway here. So lovely, make sure to participate and win a scented Jo Malone Candle ‘Sweet Almond & Macaroon’. Good Luck!