Why Wasting Your Time is not a Legitimate Option
Hey you lovely reader.
How have you been? As I flew across the Globe a week ago I haven’t really been in my best shape lately for which I blame the jet lag and big change of scenery. Well, I’m happy to announce that this is the first day when I've woken up before noon and during which I actually crave food at the appropriate meal times. Finally!
Actually to mark ‘Letters to Antoinette’ third month anniversary, today I’ve featured a letter from Chrissy - a lovely reader of mine. A quick reminder for those of you who haven’t had the chance to previously  get acquainted with my blog and all that it stands for - the whole idea behind ‘Letters to Antoinette’ revolves around my aim to inspire you to share your story. I’m sharing ‘A daily dose’ of myself, opening my soul to you and retelling my life encounters, feelings, and emotions. Through doing this, I hope that one day you'll also be willing to open up and also share yourself. Whenever you feel like it you can do so by sending me a letter, which will be featured on ‘LTA’ with my reply to it.

Having said that…here is what Chrissy sent me.

Dear Chrissy,

Since I was a very young girl, one of my all time favourite activities was to lie down on my bed, playing Coldplay and Travis loud and daydreaming. Daydreaming about the future imagining all that could be and all that I could accomplish. And the feeling of actually achieving everything I wanted was simply mind-blowing. I was all that I wanted to be - I was an actress, I was a singer, a successful lawyer and most importantly I was always happy, wearing the biggest smile on my face and rocking an amazing pair of Jimmy Choo’s. And I was always content with myself and all that I've 'dreamingly' achieved. The opportunities I had were limitless - and I was taking the full advantage of that.

With time passing, the reveries changed. Life became too complicated and the moments left for serenely lying on the grass and counting the clouds became fewer and fewer. I was already in high school and University was just behind the corner. It was time for me to act - rather than dream. And just like that I found myself walking on a path that we all are somehow led to follow by society, without really consciously acknowledging where it would finally end. But sometimes plans do change - you stumble upon ‘love’, you face its purity and virtue and just like that you decide to alter the route. And I did alter mind util 'love’ slaps me hard, putting me back on track and teaching me that while blinded by its angelic luminance, I've managed to miss some great life opportunities. Yes, this is how and when I learned that love can never fully satisfy one’s crave for success and completeness. 

And there I was 22 years old, engaging in work I’d never imagined myself practicing. You know one of these amazing jobs which makes people enthusiastically exclaim ‘Ah! So young and so successful!’.
Well, I was decisively moving forward on a winding road, which was about to take me to my ultimate professional success and unfortunately to my emotional fiasco. The inner dialogue I was constantly holding with myself was making me doubt the very purpose of life and all that I desired was to fly back in time and be that innocent girl again who was daydreaming and achieving all that she craved for.

It was a sunny Saturday when it all changed. I woke up and went out for a walk around the city to finally sit on a broken bench in the park. The children’s laughter was filling in the air and I was breathing in and out the aroma of the early spring. My lungs were filling up with oxygen and my heart was beating fast. Suddenly I knew that all I wanted was to live. To breathe. To feel. To experience. To touch. To notice the small ants which crawling around and encircling my trainers. To smell the love that strangers illuminate. To not waste even a second longer doing things that make me unhappy and distressed. You know, Chrissy, this was the very moment when I realised that I was too scared, not to quit my job, but that one day I could end up like Dr. Seuss asking myself in disbelief ‘How did it get so late so soon?’

Life is too short. And to be able to achieve grand things - you’d better start now, cos’ while lost money can be always earned back, time unfortunately cannot be ever brought back.

I had saved some money prior to quitting my job, but now I'm searching for a part-time job as a freelance writer which would be beneficial for my blog and my financial security. So you know? Rather than sitting 9 hours at a desk (which, believe me, some people consider bliss) think in terms of what could I do that would make me smile and help me achieve my dreams and find true happiness? Become a freelance journalist, a photographer, register to attend baking classes - start moving towards your dreams and introduce some bold changes in your life. I’ve written before about the mind and the Universe (here) and to sum it up, Chrissy, the Universe ends where your mind does. If your mind is open enough to accept the limitlessness of what we regard as the Universe - then you can achieve all that you want.

And as I don’t want to be in any way hypocritical - for the last month I’ve been quite terrified too. Though I’ve found my life calling and what makes my heart jump for joy - I’m again standing at a crossroad - uncertain where and when I’m going to settle down - in the country in which I was born in bred, in the USA, or will instead return to England for good. And while typing down this text my smile is quite bitter, as unfortunately all new beginnings are hard. You end one thing to give a way for another better one to start. You kiss goodbye what makes you feel down in order to open your arms and embrace the better that is yet to come. Yes, every new decision taken is indeed nerve-wrecking. But being almost 24 years old there is one single thing I truly aspire - in 40 years time to be able to look back and not regret any decision I’ve taken; to look back in time and not judge any of the mistakes I’ve made as in the course of doing so I’d have lived my life to the fullest.

Today apart from ‘Letters to Antoinette’ I'm starting a vlog, preparing to enroll in a master’s degree, aiming to become a certified portrait photographer, and ultimately a life coach, who writes a weekly column in a magazine.
There are so many novel experiences that lie ahead of me. That lie ahead of you too! 

Be bold Chrissy and speak out your dreams. Share them with someone - start turning them into reality. We are no longer little girls. We are old enough to actually make decisions and take chances. As grown-ups we are capable enough to craft our lives just the way we crave to. 

‘I just want to start living my life instead of sitting through it, but it literally terrifies me’ you mentioned in your letter.

But you know, lovely girl, erase ‘I want’ from your vocabulary - as the want will always remain precisely that a ‘desire’ and nothing more. 

Instead, try to use ‘I’m’

Yes, you’re no longer terrified. Yes, you’re living your life to the fullest - starting from now.
Open up your senses and name all that you want to achieve. Come on, I’m counting. One aim, second, no, Chrissy, don’t hold back I can feel that there is a thought, a goal that’s wondering around your mind and you’re too afraid that you won’t be able to achieve it. Name this aim out loud. 

Confess your dream to yourself as that's the first and foremost step towards ‘living your life’ to the fullest.

And as today was born an idol of mine - Audrey Hepburn - I’d like to remind you of one of her sayings, which has become my moving force:

‘Nothing is impossible. The word itself says it ‘I’m possible’.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Sending you all my love and wish you all the best in your pursuit of happiness and self-discovery.