What’s Your Calling?
With the slam of the door I already knew that my plan to sleep in wasn’t really gonna happen. And well – I just couldn’t let myself snuggle under the duvet longer than that.
‘Successful people don’t waste their time sleeping’ I gave myself a motivational nudge.
‘Get your a** outta bed!’
It’d been a long time since I was last all fresh and active at 6:55 AM, even though Philip would’ve already taken his first shot of caffeine by that point.
‘You need to step up your game’ hissed the tiny voice in my head.
I made myself a cup of tea and dedicated a few minutes to the news – another promise I’d made to myself.
‘Shit!’ Why were my knuckles all ORANGE and weird?Alternative to my oversized shirt (here) // Bag (here) // Berenford Shades (here) // Suede Boots by ASOS (here)
The initial shock dissolved into a flashback – me applying the dark brown foam, rushing, afraid that my skin could end up patchy.
I ran to the mirror and smiled at my tanned self. Mission completed, even if that meant ‘staining’ my skin to give it some colour.
I had postponed facing my pale true self – that inevitable intimidating encounter.
One day – fake tan, another staying on the phone for hours & hours paying attention to the thoughts of the others rather than to mine. I’ve somehow learned to conceal my true self, shut my real voice & let the daily thoughts mute the ones that if ever given the chance, could easily turn into my moving force.
And in the process of choosing the easy way out, I had no clue how to let my authentic self thrive.
And how could I?
Doing my best to conceal my true desires and replace them with what I ‘think’ was right, had distanced me immensely from the ‘truth’ I was desperately looking for.
And just as I was trying to find what else my mind should get engaged with – well, there it was. The dead silence that completely knocked me down.
Sharp. Painful. Numbing.
Completely stripped away from all the masks and hopes, from the ‘one day I’ll probably be’ to ‘today I’m’: there it was. My Calling. I had managed to create a huge gap between me and my true desires.In no time a colourful picture crystalized before my eyes, with no one to judge me – not even my EGO, and it finally all made sense. So maybe, just maybe, you’re also way too busy drafting that final report or getting ready for that one in a lifetime meeting. But believe me – there is always time to switch you brain off. To stop and close your eyes and allow yourself to float free and find what your true life calling is. You’re already perfectly aware of it – but you’ve also grown to be pretty good at masquerading it.
Coz it’s easy that way.
It’s what you’re expected to do…so you’d better play along with it, eh?
I can no longer monotonically walk through my life hoping to stumble upon a wonder. The world doesn’t revolve around you, but your Universe does.
It’s there to help you and guide you, but it’s your call to let it do so. It’s a two way process – and you’re the main actor in it. Tune in with your chi and get ready to roll on this exciting journey to self-realization.
You with me?