It’s been a long time since I last featured an outfit of the day post or in fact an article with my face in it. I guess it was more of a coping mechanism as a blogger rather than anything else, you know, to lay low so that I didn’t have to share what’s been going on. I did hint that things were changing for me in my ‘New Balance – New Chapters‘ article, but rather than really going for it, I chose to tiptoe around the subject.Photography: Preslava Petkova
AEO Jeans (here)/MiH Jeans (here) /// ASOS Faux Fur Coat (here) / Coffee Shop Sleeveless Vest (here) /// Warehouse Denim Jacket (here) /// Bag Leowulff Bag (here) /// Bag Mango Suede Boots (here) /// Ray Ban Sunglasses (here) /// Bethnals Sweater (here)I moved out of the flat F. and I shared since I moved to Denmark. That probably explains why people often ask me why I keep on mentioning his name even after the break-up. Well, surprise-surprise, the confusion is due to the fact that when I say Philip, I actually refer to a completely different person. And it’s not really fair on him to keep on fuelling that confusion by being all quite about him and I.
However, as things have happened in a blink of an eye, I often find myself struggling to catch up mentally with everything that’s taken place. I guess that’s why I needed to spend some time alone in my bubble and process the information before I gave any of you or my friends a heads up. Not to mention that staying off the grid for the first time since I started blogging, and enjoying something that triggered my most genuine smile, felt pretty liberating. You know, spending my time ‘experiencing’ all those beautiful emotions rather than trying to justify them or retell them to anyone else.
I’m the one who says that being bold and brave is the first step to finding happiness. But how could you know that I actually live up to that advice if I refuse to talk about my actions?
I ended the relationship that brought me to Denmark impulsively. I felt it was doomed and that the ‘end’ would eventually come, so ultimately, postponing the ‘break-up’ out of fear was me wasting ‘time’. Call it ‘serendipity’ or ‘destiny’ but it was just after I took the decision to move out that Philip crossed my path. I followed my gut without considering even for a second what people might think when they find out how quickly I’d moved on. For the first time it was me deciding all by myself what was best for me and my heart, discarding all social expectations and reactions that my decisions might trigger.
I took the plunge and went with my gut rather than acted in terms of what was socially accepted as ‘right & wrong’. And if I’d turned to anyone for advice, I’m pretty certain that I’d have eventually taken a different path. I’d have weighed all the opinions & possible outcomes, and I’d have ended up staying in my comfort zone. Not fun, eh?
Not that time. That time it was all about my gut… It took me years and zillion insomniac nights to realise that letting go of the control and ‘acting’ is actually The way forward. And, believe me, I DO KNOW that making a decision all by yourself isn’t that easy at all. After all who will be to blame if things don’t work out in the way that you have planned?
Well, today I’m choosing to face the uncertain future with curiosity and excitement, rather than fear & plans, and I’ve chosen to do that standing right next to a boy I met only a few weeks back.
It’s so damn funny to see people’s expressions when they find out how hastily we’ve decided to move in together. But then how soon is actually ‘too soon’? That’s such a relative and overly restrictive term. Plus, sometimes failing to act with the speed of the light might make you miss out on hearing the craves of your heart.
There is no magical formula to happiness & love and precisely ’cause of that – there are no set rules for how to react when it comes to the matters of heart. A few years ago I’d have probably laughed at someone acting as impulsive as I did, not caring about what everyone else might thing. Today, I’m just flashing a cheeky smile at the younger ‘me’ who cared so much about what people think and so little about how trying to live up to everyone’s expectations would eventually make her feel.
And you? Are you ready to follow your heart?