My Key Pieces for Fall: Faux Fur Sleeveless Jackets & Loose Fitting Shirts

The Unpolished Part of Me and A Laid-Back Autumn Outfit

The Unpolished Part of Me and A Laid-Back Autumn Outfit



If you ask someone to describe me with one single adjective ? be it a family member or friend – I?m quite certain they’ll pick the word ?optimist?.
And I guess with the passing of the years my never-ending positivity has slowly become so definitive of me that I?ve somehow managed to lose my right to cease smiling and appear grumpy in front of others. 
Like literally, if I ever allow myself to frown I?ll get in return so many pointless questions that I?ve  chosen (I’d like to think for my own sake) to conceal my negative emotions with a huge grin. 
Anyway, it was Sunday morning and I was getting ready to meet up with my mother for brunch and for a quick photo-session (yes, she is the one who takes most of the photos for LTA). I had only a few minutes left to think of a cool outfit for the fall that I was intending to share with you later on the same day. And there I was anxiously going through my clothes, at the same time being completely unable to come up with a good autumn look.
And as I was trying to build my outfit I suddenly burst into tears. I slumped on the floor with my body uncontrollably shaking and my heart pounding hard. Now looking back I have no idea how long I stayed curled up on the ground, nor I can rationalize why this happened at that precise moment. I do recall, however, a certain feeling of hopelessness? a feeling I could compare with the one you?d get if you?re wandering around a maze without being able to find the exit.
And up until that moment I?ve never experienced episodes of panic/anxiety attacks which is why I’m almost 100% certain that what happened wasn’t really anything like that.
However, for the last few months I?ve been feeling quite anxious often being unable to force myself to sleep even when I was utterly exhausted. I was instead lying wide awake on my bed, overthinking everything that I had to do or counting the things I?ve slacked on doing (for example, giving up on studying French). 
And as I?ve shared with you before, prior to the launch of my blog, I quit my job. Then I did change the decision regarding the place in which I wanted to live quite a few times. And in the process of doing so I’ve been feeling like a failure, in my mind, walking a few steps behind everyone else. Intending to prove my family and friends that I?ve taken the right decision (you know quitting my job and starting the blog) while also doing my best to generate quality content, I?ve put a lot of pressure on myself. You know, coming up with the best possible outfits, writing ‘out-of-the box’ articles, while at the same time finding time to be there for my friends and on time for the part-time I recently started.

When I finally snapped back to reality I was already a few
minutes late. I had a few missed calls from my mother who was patiently waiting for me in our favourite place for
brunch and there I was, still half-naked and at home.
?Get a grip? I said to myself quite loudly. I got up and put on a pair of jeans and a printed crop top. I was almost an hour late and yet my mom greeted me with her biggest and most genuine smile – the shot of positivity I so desperately needed. 
Since I launched LTA I?ve received so many comments (both genuine
and spiteful) from people congratulating me to have found a way to turn my
hobby into a full-time job. And indeed, Letters to Antoinette is one of the best things that have ever happened to me. How would I have met so many new friends (in the face of you) if it wasn’t for LTA? 
However, it is my mind and strive for perfection that make me doubt myself, my decisions, and my skills. And I wanted to use today’s text to apologise to you that sometimes I postpone writing a post or that I still haven’t launched my youtube channel (currently working on my first video 😉 ).  I feel that if I share an article which isn’t good enough I’ll disappoint you, which I guess is me forgetting that none’s perfect and that’s why we’re called ‘human beings’ not ‘perfectings’. And ultimately, that’s why we’ve chosen to be ‘life’style bloggers  – to show our real faces and reveal our weaknesses, to illuminate our unpolished parts and let our readers learn from our mistakes.
My mom reminded me that while I was chewing my vegan salad and rather than rushing back home to prepare my Sunday post, I chose to spend the sunny afternoon with her out in the city. We got some flowers to decorate my flat and snapped some photos on our way home. I spent my evening talking to you through twitter and I felt so so grateful to have met you. And there I was, under my duvet sipping tea and thinking that it was about time really that I became braver and more willing to reveal to you the laid-back side of me (we shall see how this goes, shan’t we?)
I hope this wasn’t too much of a ramble and I hope you have an amazing week ahead!

No comments yet

Be the first one to comment :)


Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret. Krævede felter er markeret med *


Next post

My Key Pieces for Fall: Faux Fur Sleeveless Jackets & Loose Fitting Shirts