LTA’S DATING ADVICE: TIME TO DISCONNECT TO FINALLY TRULY CONNECT or WHO SHOULD SEND THE FIRST TEXT

You decide to get off Facebook and leave them hanging right in the middle of what was initially a cool & cheeky conversation ? just to make them want you more. You spend hours going through the texts you?ve exchanged, analysing them with your mates, in hopes of deciphering what that particular emoticon truly meant. 

And now, could you please stop staring at your phone at least for a couple of minutes as I think the chances are pretty high that by the time you finish reading this, the text you’re hoping to receive might no longer be your utmost priority. 

Yes, peeps! Social media are your strongest weapon in the whole ?pretend you don?t care to make them chase you more? game.
?Whatsapp?ing has granted us with time to come up with an original answer to send back. It?s all about creating the impression that you?re the coolest one they might possibly get, right? 

Instagram (and its pretty marvellous filters) has worked wonders to remind them of you in case they’ve forgotten how fit you actually are.
You wanna make them jealous? You?re just a click away from putting a photo with that hottie on a ‘Facebook’ display.

Okay, and now could you please tell me how many of the relationships you’ve been in have grown out of an aggressive game whose ‘winner’ is the one who seems to care less?

Yes, when it comes to love and ?games? there?s always a winner and a loser ? and ironically the winner is not the one who bites their tongue, or in this case switches off their phone to restrain themselves from texting back, but instead is the one who takes their chances and does text first. They’re winners, because despite the 50/50 chance to get their EGO bruised, they DO NOT waste time in waiting and hoping that eventually you?ll grow some balls to make the first step.
They?re the ones who realise (consciously or not) that TIME is the most precious commodity which one day all of us will desperately crave to be able to purchase. 

Recently, I saw Jupiter (starring Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum) a film that gets across a great point, which unfortunately goes somehow unnoticed, concealed by aggressive visual and sound effects. So to sum it up for you: love, happiness, and material possessions are nothing but sand castles. If you run out of time ? the sea washes them away.

With no time at your disposal ? everything loses value. As simple as that.

So while social media might have granted us with a pretty unique 2.0 ‘battlefield’ where you could test out your ‘mating’ strategy, paradoxically they’ve taken hell of a lot from us too. By spending hours waiting and staring at your phone, you?re in fact losing time that you could potentially devote to something/someone (even to that particular someone offline) that actually have the power to make you truly smile.

And you know? If someone likes you ? double texting or sending what you?d probably regard as a ?creepy? emoticon (talking hearts, kisses and all that) doesn’t have the power to change their opinion of or feelings for you. And if you put some thought in it, you?d actually realise that the best you could do is focus your attention/invest your energy in finding the answer to the question ‘Do they deserve any my TIME?’ And how else would you find out if you don’t give it a go? 

And a cheeky advice: When you text them, invite them on a date, or just share a thought ? have no expectations! It?s their rightful choice to never text back or end up saying something rude. And that?s the thing ? the less expectations you have, the simpler everything will seem. As you know? You might think that your happiness depends on external factors – and in this case on the response of your crush. But does it really?

If you’re confident in yourself (and I’m not talking cocky), and value yourself and your time enough – then you won’t count on anyone to cook some ‘happiness’ for you. 

And even though your EGO might begin whispering that someone ‘rejecting’ you = you’re not good enough, politely ask it to finally shut up! Even though it incessantly tries to convince us that we’re at ‘the centre of the Universe’ – in really, we really aren’t. You remember when we spoke about EGO and how much of the pain we feel it is responsible of (here)? Rather than giving it the freedom to mess up with your head –  remind yourself that someone not texting back doesn’t make you inferior in any way. Conversely, it means that you’ve grown to the life-changing realisation that you should cherish your time! And how else would you find out whether they are worth investing in them any of it if you don’t take your chances and text them first? And before you take my advice too literally and run off sending something cheeky just for the sake of finding out what response you might get – wait until you actually have something to say, even if the thing is an invitation for a date. Here I?m talking: stop listening to your EGO which says ‘GO ON, PLAY IT COOL’, rather listen to your HEART which says ‘IT’S TIME TO BE YOURSELF’. 

Gosh, it was much easier before wasn’t it? You approach her and ask her on a date. She might say no, or she might say yes. Now you have the unique opportunity to test whether you have any chances at all, by first turning the social media game on.  With all that said ? if you have nothing better to do you can always enter a new game, with a new rival to conquer. And believe it or not ? if you follow all the advice available online for how to make a guy/girl fall for you (and how to step up your chase/conquer game) – you might probably succeed – and let your EGO raise a cheeky toast.

But just beware ? that?s an exhausting process, which while giving you short-term happiness & excitement (or in other words small victories for your EGO) might actually hinder you from stumbling upon the one who could truly make you happy. 

And that’s the thing – this person is quite far from that battlefield, as, ultimately, they don?t want to be your rival, but rather a lover and a friend. 

They feel no need to push you away to make you want them more. 

When there are feelings ? you don’t play games, or actually you do – Fifa – at home. 

When there are feelings you feel no need to stay online, rather you disconnect so that you could end up truly connect. 

P.S. And be careful whom you’re entering a love game with – as it might turn out that the only one who you’re playing against is yourself.  

So ready to send the first text?

A.