#LifeAsACanvas: Getting Over A Break-Up

#LifeAsACanvas: Time to Change the Tape

#LifeAsACanvas: Time to Change the Tape 

Hey you lovely,
Yesterday a couple of my friends and I went out to enjoy the nice summer weather that has finally decided to settle. We were having some drinks with our minds completely blown away by the mesmerising deep house sounds that the DJ was playing. You know, we were having just a standard night out with everyone smiling and laughing out loud.

Until the beat of The Sun by Parov Stelar feat. Graham Candy reached my ears. Suddenly I was no longer there. My mind was transported to a distant place where the two of us were all by ourselves, dancing together with the crystal waters brushing against our bear feet. The sun was just about to set and the captivating waves of energy that were flowing through our bodies were electrifying the surrounding air. We were occasionally catching sight of each other, just to make sure that the other one was still there, while rhythmically swinging under the rhythmical sounds.


?A! A!’, in an exasperated voice someone called my name and I immediately came back to my senses. I was back in the bar and I couldn?t help myself from looking around. And just like that I felt completely out of place. I was smiling to myself from the thought that noone knew what was taking place in my head.
The things is, I?ve been confined within a social bubble for the last couple of years. Yes, a bubble.
Raised by hippie parents my soul?s been fuelled by poetic music since an early age. I was falling asleep to the sounds of ?Comfortably Numb? while chewing for breakfast ‘Dust in the Wind’, and I guess that’s when my mind started slowly getting accustomed to being constantly exposed to music. By the age of 10 music had already become the background against which my life?s begun to unfold. Each and every occurrence of my life has since then been converted into a unique song and then included in my life?s cassette.
Yes, a colourful vintage mix-tape ? that?s what my life has always been. A cassette filled with disparate songs, all of which closely related to all that?s previously taken place for better or worse.

Today mulling over the last couple of years I recognise that my life’s musical setting has been somewhat muted. And similarly to the way flowers dry out when left without water, my soul has been slowly shutting down due to its musical abstinence.
I was listening to tracks while walking through life without really sensing its vibrancy, discerning all of its peculiarities and without being truly present. And just like that when ‘The Sun’ started playing I was reminded that something grander was currently taking place in my life. I knew that I was there with my friends, I knew that they could clearly discern my most genuine smile, and yet I was completely aware that noone really knew what the true reason behind it was.


Rather than seeing everything in black & white for less than a week my life got splashed with million shades of colour.
And for less than a second the bubble simply burst.
A week ago I thought that I knew a lot about human nature, and I was convinced that I knew all that I possibly could about boys, friendships, relationships?
I thought that my life within this social bubble was the only one you could possibly lead; that it was absolutely normal to have a few hundred acquaintances with only a few real friends, all of whom part of the same clique. And just like that we were starting intimate relationships and wrecking them; developing solid friendships, and ruining them by ‘swapping’ girl/boy friends. Yes, we always ended up falling for the same girls/guys and then mindlessly destroying friendships on account of a fleeting crush.
Yes, when you know this many (actually that few) people you tend to hear nasty rumours now and then about pretty much everyone you know. And yet, you cannot help but stick around, choosing your intimate partners, closest friends, and worst enemies among this tight circle of ‘friends’. That?s actually the main reason behind the stereotypical images I?ve crafted in my mind about life, believing that all ?boys? were the same (of course judging based on the ?few? personages I was exposed to); believing that our trendy parties were the coolest ones to attend, that our shallow arguments were actually worth having.


And thought time was quickly ticking away I never managed to acknowledge the tediousness and suffocating hopelessness that had been slowly arising within me. I?d never dared to imagine that my friends and I could do anything disparate than what we?d gotten used to over the years, always ending up going out with the same people, having fun at the same places, with each and every one of us hoping to stumble upon the ONE without even considering to get a sneak peek outside this suffocating clique.
And please, don?t get me wrong. I?ve met some amazing people thanks to my confinement within the bubble. But, candidly, by never daring to crack it I?ve also missed out on getting acquainted with new people based exclusively on my interests and not on the High Schools we?ve attended.
For less than a day, however, my life turned around. I finally felt sick and tired of doing the same things over and over again. I felt sick of rerunning the same songs without even considering recording new and more exciting ones. Actually, recently I?ve been sent a song. And thanks to it and all the other songs we’ve managed to exchange over less than a week we both managed to establish a unique connection…
While listening to the tracks I was taken back in time recalling the wonderful moments when I was still young and bold enough to rebel against the bubble, doing my best to meet new people within the musical sub-cultures I considered myself a member of. But while simultaneously growing within the bubble I never managed to develop solid and lasting friendships within these youth subcultures.? Instead, my classmates often regarded my music preferences as a pretensions way to stand out of the crowd and underline some sort of uniqueness.
But how could I expect someone to get my passion if they?ve never shared it?
Weirdly, today, I?m getting closer and closer to a someone who shares my passion for music, who understands its effect on your body and soul, someone who would happily devote enough time to linger in silence while enjoying some whimsical sounds.

I?ve been walking up and down the city with my headphones in my ears feeling more than ready to step out of the bubble and start exploring. I was buzzing from the thought of finally seeing the luring perspective of trying out something new while breaking up the monotonous habits that my friends and I have developed over the last decade.
I?m tired of playing the same tracks over and over again; of having no inspiration to try out something new and sense life without rationalising every second of it.
So, dear reader, we sometimes tend to feel that we know everything about life, that there is no way out of the rigid habits; that you’ll be unable to come across the One as you’ve seen too many of the Not So Right Ones. And rather than beating yourself up over these depressive thoughts – get up and break up the tedious routine. Remind yourself that the tape is in your very hands and it’s entirely up to you to decide what your life’s soundtrack’s gonna be. 
And just like that while walking home all by myself I knew it was time for a change. Yes, it was finally time to change the tape. Do you feel like doing that too?


No comments yet

Be the first one to comment :)


Skriv et svar

Din e-mailadresse vil ikke blive publiceret. Krævede felter er markeret med *


Next post

#LifeAsACanvas: Getting Over A Break-Up