#LIFEASACANVAS: A Rainy Day Outfit and Developing a Thicker Skin

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Initially I didn?t
intend to share this story.

However, a few days
later it seems quite reasonable that I did so.

And not because the
story itself is greatly amusing or anything like that, but because it taught me
a simple life lesson that could be possibly applied into other life encounters
too.

It was a chilly
Friday and despite the lack of sun rays, I was walking around with my biggest smile.

Since my episode of
anxiety last week (here) I knew I had to stay as positive as I possibly could
in order to get my work back on track.

Well, the cheerful
attitude I was carrying evaporated the moment I opened my laptop.

After spending a
couple of hours with Andrea out in the city, I was back at home all ready to reply to a few emails before
I headed out to work.

?Beep!?

It was a facebook notification. I checked my phone and
noticed that I?d just received (from what I initially gathered) a letter from one of my readers.

My heart jumped with
joy and I couldn?t wait to click on it and unveil its content.

For a second the
fluently written ?text? went blurry before my eyes.

I wiped away a tear.
Then another one.

It wasn’t a ?Letter
to Antoinette? or, wait, it was indeed precisely that.

A letter that I had to re-read a couple of times to fully grasp. It was the initial shock that deterred me from comprehending its content.

A letter, which straightforwardly and quite sarcastically questioned my skills as a bloggers and as a writer.

A letter, which quite mockingly implied that my articles were superficial, meaningless and dull, and that I, as the person behind it, have been faking a particular public persona and making up a ‘life story’.

If I could only put in words the emotions that passed through my body – the suffocating, mind-boggling pain and overwhelming irritation that made me burst into tears. For a few minutes I sat there on my couch, on the very couch from which I?ve drafted most of my posts, edited my photos and communicated with all of you. Yes, I was just where my blogging journey started and for a second I felt completely out of place.

Had I really spent 8 months doing something I wasn?t good at?

Was I really an inept writer?

I collected myself.

I knew what I had to do. In one breath I typed down my reply.

For eight months I?ve been sharing some of my most intimate stories in the bluntest possible way.

And I did launch this blog under this specific ‘name’ for a reason.

Through sharing my ‘story’ I wanted to establish a dialogue. A dialogue with people from all around the world.

With YOU!

I craved finding a way for us to jointly come to life conclusions that would guide us towards the ultimate happiness. And, as much as I wanna say that I have a cynical attitude towards life, coz that’s the cooler way to be, well, I?ve never managed to convert into a cynic.

I do believe in the concept of ultimate happiness and pure love without, however, in any way denying the existence of ‘sadness’.

If it wasn?t for the negative and gloomy moments how could we have possibly appreciated the blissful ones?

In this sense ?happiness? means having dreams.

Bold dreams and having great guts to pursue them.

It means following your aspirations no matter the obstacles that come your way.

And, gosh, how glad I’m to have received such a candid letter!

The thing is – I have no right to be offended by it, as being ‘happy’ also means being ‘free’

?Free? to express your opinions and views.

?Free? TO HAVE them in the first place.

And that’s what X. has done.

Shared his stance with me.

And the fact that I did get upset proves that I do put my heart and soul in what I do.

And I’m not planning on quitting any time soon. If anything, his words inspired me to keep improving and moving forward on the windy road that I’ve chosen for myself.

And you know? It’s precisely the ability to swallow your pride and listen. To learn from the negative feedback, which no matter how subjective – could serve as a good lesson and help you build a thicker skin.

Well, I did find out that, indeed, over the last eight months I’ve been doing something that makes me truly happy and I can only hope and keep on doing my best in hopes of triggering your biggest smile too.

Love,