BREAK-UP ADVICE: HOW TO HANDLE A BREAK-UP ONLINE

BREAK-UP ADVICE: HOW TO HANDLE A BREAK-UP ONLINE
And here we go again, wiping the tears off your face while munching on a slice of pizza with some Ben&Jerry?s on the side. All you need is calories, fat, and tons of tissues. You literally cannot get your head around the fact that they weren’t ‘the One’ and that you?re yet again single and all alone in your flat.
And there it is, the cheeky laptop whispering your name and tempting you to open it and find out what’s been taking place since you’ve completely disappeared from the offline world with currently zero social life. Scrolling down your Facebook feed, a photo captures your attention. There he is. The b*****d! Grinning at you with a gorgeous brunette by his side. However, while Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have simplified the process of learning more about people, sometimes the information you gather might be quite misleading. But, hey! That’s where the power of social media lies. You can use your social media profiles to create a particular online image and continuously maintain it by ‘checking in’ various places and posting photos of yourself that tell a lot about the particular lifestyle you currently lead. But that’s an image and quite often – it might quite a fake one.

So, now: STOP! WITH!
THIS! TORTURE!
I totally get it! With all social media platforms available today, breaking up with someone has turned from a pretty straight-forward process – you stop seeing each other, communicating, you go through the ‘love-hate’ stage, and in a few months it’s all a history – to an overly complex process. Not only do you have to find a way to mend your broken heart, but so you have to go through the torture of breaking up
with your partner online! You have to change your relationship status while also doing your best to adequately follow the break-up etiquette to avoid any unwanted questions and sympathetic cliches from your friends. So, if you are uncertain how to handle your break-up online, today I’m giving you a few tips for how to do it with ease.

1.Think ahead! Okay, I know how difficult that might seem, especially if you?ve just entered a new relationship and all you wanna do is let the whole world know how happy you currently are. But, please, try to stay sane and save yourself the hassle
of telling everyone that you’re in a relationship with that particular person. Aw, and immediately changing your profile photo with a one of you two kissing, counts as online bragging too. That?s your Facebook profile and there?s no need to immediately put light on your private life and make it public, especially with you still quite uncertain where it is all headed to. This might sound
quite cynical (especially if you?re currently in love), however, I?m speaking out of experience here. I?ve done the mistake of letting the whole world
know how in love I was and the ‘reward’ was me having to go through the stress of answering everyone?s questions and then hearing the the sympathetic ?Aw, poor you’. But, who’s to blame really? My Facebook friends were used to constantly seeing our cute photos as well as all the messages we left on each other?s walls. The moment all the ‘love’ spam stopped it was just obvious that something was wrong. I was young, with no ‘social media’ experience and I had absolutely no clue that Facebook might become the cause of quite a lot of needless pain when going through a break up. So, yeah, just keep the ‘(S)he is the one’ caption for yourself.

2. Okay, now you know what NOT to do ‘online’ when you start a new relationship. But what happens if you’ve just broken up with someone and a few years back you were completely oblivious that updating your relationship status on Facebook wasn’t the wisest things to do? Well, I
suggest you take the high road on that one and leave the other one to do the
dirty work for you. There is not need to be a drama queen and immediately change your status to ‘single’. When you’re ready to act: hide the status from your timeline instead of going for the single option and turning it into a big announcement. Actually, I was so angry at my ex once, that out of impulse, I changed my status to single as I knew how much that would annoy him. Guess what! A war started in the comments below: my friends were ”Yeeeee! We’re so celebrating your freedom tonight’ with his making spiteful comments towards me. Gosh, it was such a childish
thing to do and it all makes me cringe so much today! But hey, at least I?ve learned my lesson, right? So, hiding your relationship status from your Facebook profile is really enough and will
save you the hassle of having to answer everyone’s questions. And if your ex is in a desperate need of attention – let them go for the ‘single’ option. Try to stay calm and remind yourself that you?re an adult and that you should act like one.

And what about your photos together? Well, photos = memories.
You don?t have to delete them to start over. Plus your past is what makes you who you are. Just make all the albums that ?tell?
too much about your past relationship private. However, what
I?d surely do is get rid of the profile pictures of you two as a couple – kissing,
holding hands, and all that ? gone. And really, why would you keep them,
especially if you?re dating again? It will just make your new crash doubt
whether you?ve moved on from the past at all.

3.While unfollowing someone on Instagram for the sake of
not being bombarded with their photos is okay, unfriending your ex from Facebook is considered extreme according to the break-up etiquette. I get it ? no matter how cool and stone-faced you’re trying to be, stumbling upon cheerful photos of your ex having the time of their lives is not at all what you, or your heart as a matter of fact, wanna see. However, rather than unfriending them, why not just hide them from your news feed? Save yourself the drama and all the insinuations which might follow if you go down the ‘unfriend’ road. Actually, on a couple of occasions my exes have unfriended me and do you
know what my reaction was? Well, I thought: A)
he is way too intimidated by my photos ’cause he, well, loves me or B) he is still in love with me and completely unable to
move on and handle the situation in a proper way. And that?s the thing
even if I was all wrong, this was the impression I was left with.

4. If you ever come a photo or a comment made by your ex or their friends which you’re more than certain is a reference to you – try to stay out of it! Just think about it, if they were in any way indifferent towards you, they would have never
used Facebook or Twitter to verbally abuse and mock you. Find a way to speak with them
in person if impossible rather than engaging in an online fight for the world to see.

5. Right, and what about the way you should behave across social media after the break-up? Well, posting photos of you having the time of
your life is not really what you do, especially if a long-term relationship has
come to an end. And even if you?re more than happy to be single
again, just try not bragging about it online.

Do whatever you feel like doing ?
meet up with friends, go clubbing, date new people ? but meanwhile keep it all to yourself. Act smart and go for the mystery card. Rather than trying to make your ex jealous, just stay under the radar for a bit. Get out there and engage in activities that will trigger your smile. And again, I?ve done the mistake of posting a zillion photos of me partying and showing off how quickly I’ve moved on. Well, now looking back, I literally cannot believe that it’s ever crossed my mind that I could have actually fooled anyone into thinking that! My smile was anything but genuine and my excessive partying suggested only one thing – I was utterly unhappy. So, learn from my mistakes and leave everyone in blissful oblivion. Take your time to get over the break-up, and invest your energy in moving on rather than in pretending that you’re all okay, and yet constantly drunk and off your face.

6. Okay, now talking about excessive drinking behaviour, please do your best to stay away from your lap top when you get back home. Facebook stalking at 3 AM, after having had a few too many cocktails might result in you texting them ?You?re such a b*****! I knew you two were getting together!’ So sober or not, cease torturing yourself by trying to find out more about your ex’s current life. And remember ? even if you see a photo that literally rips your heart from your chest ? you
can never be certain that what you think you see is what’s really taking place. So rather than seeking the answer to the question ?Is she dating this guy?!? just let it go. You?ve broken up for a reason, and honestly, the fact that it?s
happened means that something was wrong. I cannot recall a time in my life when
I?ve gotten back with an ex. Especially, if they?re the ones who have broken up with me -they?ve done it ones, there’s no guarantee they won’t do it twice.
So rather than
living in the past and hoping that it could become ?present? again ? try to
build a brighter future for yourself without them in the picture. And trust me – it’s all in your head and you should work hard if you wanna move on for good. That’s the thing – you might think that unfriending/blocking someone might facilitate your ‘stalking diet’. However, there’s no guarantee that you won’t be accessing their profile from the profile of a mutual friend. It’s all in your head and it’s entirely up to you to restrain yourself from accessing their little space online. Aw, and sending a request to their new girl/boyfriend counts as anything but ‘moving on’. The less you know – the happier you’d be. As simple as that.
Aw, and ultimately – try not to care what people think. They will talk. It’s up to you to decide whether you’ll let their words affect you.
Let me know in the comments below if you have any other tips for how to handle a break-up online <3
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Good luck!A.
A.