A Letter to Granny A. a.k.a. My Future Self

Dear Antoinette,

How have you been? I’m writing to you to give you some update on what?s been
taking place in your life recently. You?re soon to celebrate your 25th
birthday and, great news;

You still tend to get quite easily addicted to stuff ‘you’d literally have the same type of vegan pastry (oh, yeah, you’re a non-smoker, full-time vegetarian, and a part-time vegan) or Starbucks Soy beverage over and over again until you get so sick and tired of it that you end up being completely unable to taste it EVER again.

And your biggest addiction? It surely goes to strong emotions. Whenever you lack them you get bizarrely lethargic. Gosh, you’re so unbelievably restless, you know? You just can’t stay at home all by yourself
and tend to spend most of your time working from coffee shops and surrounding yourself with people, which I guess explains why you made the conscious decision to work part-time in a Club. And it’s not the emptiness that freaks you out; rather it’s your
thoughts. You need the presence of people, the buzz of their conversations, the
affection they grant each other with to recalibrate your reality. It’s
almost as if you?’e trying to escape from your head and all the scenarios your
mind keeps putting together regarding the ‘What Ifs’. You just crave to understand what’s the point of life, which is why you’ve begun practicing mindfulness while doing your best to let go of your destructive EGO. 

And even though over the last few years you’ve grown much more impulsive and
decisive, you still  find yourself quite hesitant regarding which road to take on and whether it will take you the place you’ve painted in your head. Are you cheekily smiling at the thought that you know the answers to all the questions you had at that
young age? I bet you are!
Anyway, I believe that right now you?re happiest  you?re
ever gonna be. Happiest in the sense that at the age of 24 you have the advantage
of not knowing what the future beholds despite your never-ending curiosity
(yes, you?re very into astrology and all that future-telling stuff). But,
thankfully, you?re learning that not knowing is the most precious and liberating things of all, as it grants you the freedom to alter the ?now?, to decide which conversations to join in and which
ones to turn down. It?s your decision to just say ?F*** it!? and change the
course of the events completely and respectively the ?future? in which you
reside while reading this letter.

And before I forget – despite all the bitter tears you’ve cried, you’ve used them to nourish the hopeless optimist in you, rather than the sarcastic cynic! I hope this won’t have changed by the time you’re reading this. And weirdly, despite your quite adultery age, you still find it overly difficult to say ‘NO’ while still having absolutely no clue where’s ‘home’. You’re still in the search of a city (or a deserted village, who knows!?) where you?ll feel cosy enough to settle down. I guess, until
then you?ll have to travel a bit more (you’re just about to move to Copenhagen! Hoorey!) and give a few countries  a try until you
finally manage to make up your Gemini’s pretty indecisive mind. But for what it’s worth,  your wanderlust is so strong that… Gosh! You just probably won’t ever stop exploring and seeking adventure, and calling yourself ‘Cosmopolitan’? Fingers crossed you never ever allow yourself to grow out of loving this.

Probably while reading this you think ?Aw, it would’ve been so much easier If I’d ever been granted the chance to send a few reassuring lines to my 24 year old self that’s still growing and learning?.

But than, it’s all okay Granny A.! You’re
happy right now, even though you’re terrified from the thought that time is
ticking away and you have no power to slow it down. You’re happy, coz you
always manage to feed yourself with strong emotions to shake you to the
core and remind yourself that you’re so so alive.

Anyway, you should go now. It’s time to put on your headphones, play Lane 8 feat. Solomon Grey – Diamonds  and hit your Pilates class!

Speak soon!

Always yours,

Antoinette

And you, lovelies.. What would you like to tell your Future Self? Actually I dare you to send me a ‘Letter to Your Future Self’ (antoinette.pepe@gmail.com)! The best ones will be featured on ‘Letters to Antoinette’! :)))

Speak soon!

A.