A Few Things I Will Miss About Being Pregnant
The first trimester – oh my! The morning sickness, the uncertainty that comes with the whole pregnancy thing, the bouquet of emotions that make you feel like something is very wrong with you… If you’d asked me back then whether I enjoyed being pregnant, I’m pretty sure the answer would’ve been negative. But now mulling over the last 9 months – I do feel a little bit nostalgic and I can’t get my head around the fact that I had thoughts like ‘Is that ever gonna end? I just want to get back to feeling myself and just go on to enjoy my life as a first-time mommy’.
Well, near the end of my pregnancy my thoughts changed, in fact my whole state of mind did. Maybe because my belly had the shape of a watermelon on which I could clearly discern Sofia-Malou’s little feet moving from one side to another. That’s when it all became real and my whole perception of pregnancy and experience of being pregnant changed.All of a sudden I began conceiving of my body as beautiful with all its newly formed curves – me, the control freak, who’s always been a fan of the thin and slender body. Back in the day ‘pregnancy’ meant becoming big and chubby and just like that this was no longer the case. The new body I was sporting just reminded me of the zillion changes my body underwent to cater for the new life that flourishes inside it. So even though Sofia-Malou is now cozily snuggled in my arms and I can physically touch her and get to know her, I still somehow miss that magical feeling of us two being part of the same whole for 9 months. It’s an intimacy so special and unique that it can’t be compared to anything else. And I do admit it’s a little bit selfish that I’d miss having her only for myself, with my heart jumping out of joy every time she moved to reassure me that she was doing okay.
And then the feeling of anticipation that Philip and I would get the chance to meet her in the near future; to kiss those chubby cheeks and stroke her gentle arms; the butterflies I was getting every time I thought about her and tried to paint a mental picture of how she’d look. That’s also something that I will genuinely miss. It was all so new for both us, which made it even more special. I was trying to make sense of the processes that were taking place in my body and with that I was changing mentally tuning her into my number 1 priority.
And what I will miss the most is the late night conversations Philip and I had about her and our future together as a family. We were wondering whether she would like us and whether we would be good enough parents; we were envisioning how we would raise her, what we would want to teach her, and what language we should speak to her. She became our favourite conversation topic and made us grow even closer before her much anticipated arrival. Funnily, even though she was there every time we spoke about her, it was way too surreal to comprehend that she could hear everything we said. It was only when she started stretching her legs and making my belly bend in different shapes that it all became real – there was a little one rapidly growing inside me. And Philip would often bend over my bump and whisper to her. Actually the first time I felt her move was when Philip put his ear on my belly and she kicked him just to reassure her daddy ‘Hey, your wife is carrying me, your child’.
Being pregnant for the first time was a life-changing journey. A journey I’d be more than willing and happy to embark on again and again – so to all of you who think that being pregnant is a hard job – yes, it is but it’s probably the most rewarding one of all.
So stay positive and enjoy every moment of it because that’s what it takes to finally get to the point when you’ll finally great your little precious one. And just a day before my contractions hit, I spent the day with the two people who created me :).And you? How do you think of your pregnancy from the perspective of a mom?